my name is vonn and i don't have an aesthetic. sorry.
1950sunlimited:

Bettie

1950sunlimited:

Bettie

verylittlebird:


this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day

verylittlebird:

this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day

recent google searches:

elizabeth short conspiracies
eviscerate
how to capitalize on my daddy issues
everyday smokey eye

the light to my left is burning. if i were to touch it with the soft pads of my fingers it would singe my skin.  i think about reaching over but then a fly starts throwing itself against the bulb, uselessly trying to find some way out through the light. i sympathize with him. i shoo him away but he keeps buzzing around my ears so i swat him with my hand and toss his flattened corpse. life is fleeting, and someone bigger than you is always calling the shots.

recent google searches:

filter that will bring out my eating disorder
the zindon bug pit
24 hour chipotle in chicago
define caustic

my ceiling fan is clicking as it turns and i can hear it between the songs that play at a respectable volume from my laptop.  the window at the end of the room has the blinds closed, but the sunlight tries to creep through. i ignore the clock. father time and i are not on speaking terms currently. i think about that time i said no and he didn’t stop.  i think about trying to smoke out of an apple and burning the red skin.  i think about having to show my scars to psychiatrists. 3 am and 3 pm are the same with the blinds closed.

recent google searches:

how do i make my boyfriend love me?
nail salons in chicago il
eva braun
sonogram pictures

i turn off the burning light and let my fingers graze lightly over the hissing warmth.  i spend a lot of my time crying because i want to be loved like they are in movies and books and no one ever told me that kind of love doesn’t exist.  i pull the covers up to my chin and turn on my side. netflix streams endlessly. i think of rivers that run north.  i bite my nails. i check twitter but everyone else is asleep. i need attention. you want attention from the people that don’t give it to you, and loathe the attention you get from the people who do give it to you. 

recent google searches:

spontaneous human combustion
was elvis abusive to priscilla?
artpop flop
the most beautiful suicide

the office plays almost soundlessly. i know all the words anyway.  i turn my back and lay down on my stomach. i try to sleep but instead i think about what would happen if i never woke up. i don’t think death will be glamorous, but it does seem like my body is the only thing i have to give to the earth. i have a lot more homicidal rage than i do suicidal woe. i have been okay for three days straight, but i still want to hurt myself.

// a frozen four am
7.27.14

gonna start posting poetry again, sorry dudes